Change is in the air. I know this not because it’s obvious but because my stomach is in knots, my indecision makes my nerves shake and the skin on my hands is cracking, bleeding and reading to fall off due to increased cortisol circulating in my fragile, hormonal body! It’s slightly less intense than having 2 cavities filled under local anesthetic which I’ve also experienced this week.
What gives? Why is it that everything collides together at once? The tides of change emerge and gather speed at precisely the time I feel like crawling into a tiny cave to pretend life isn’t happening. Then I am startled back into reality by the screech of my cute, adorable and louder-than-life, almost 1 year old! It’s like parenting at its best! Or worst?
The kids can sense the change, they start to yell, scream and demand even more of me. It’s great! I really feel needed, not necessarily loved but definitely in demand.
Last night we made changes to our flight plans and are returning to Ontario a week earlier- almost like a white flag on my part! Help, save me, someone start parenting these rambunctious little Q boys! So we arrive on July 25th but just the little Q boys and I. Jeff is staying with our original plan and flying Aug 1 to Ontario… so read between the lines… Jeff gets a week off from parenting, spous-ing and being a responsible adult. I swear I saw him booking a golf game the second I got off the phone from confirming our flight changes… I’m thinking: lucky jerk? I want a week off. I am really going to have to book some kind of mom-retreat but the real problem with all of this is that my maternity leave is coming to an end, it’s already wearing thin, I’m feeling the end...the real world...the demands and intensity of returning to work. My brain hurts already
I wish I lived in that country where they have 2 years of maternity leave with a guaranteed return to the job you left. That would be ideal. I’d likely be sick of my kids after 2 years right? But after just one year with Connor, he’s just starting to show his feisty side, his picky side, his I-wanna-consume-the-world side… how can I miss this stage?
(What country is this... maybe the change is a move to this new country?)
Jeff has vetoed the “stay at home mom” idea. He actually counter-proposed with the potential of a , “stay at home dad”. Jeff would love to stay home, and he’d be good at it too, but he make more money than me (that’s my argument at least).
So for now, I’ll sit tight and just wait it out… okay I’ll even try to enjoy this remaining days of mat leave. I have lots planned and it will be great… but there are days when the velocity and momentum is overwhelming. Please tell me this is just a stage!!!
What gives? Why is it that everything collides together at once? The tides of change emerge and gather speed at precisely the time I feel like crawling into a tiny cave to pretend life isn’t happening. Then I am startled back into reality by the screech of my cute, adorable and louder-than-life, almost 1 year old! It’s like parenting at its best! Or worst?
The kids can sense the change, they start to yell, scream and demand even more of me. It’s great! I really feel needed, not necessarily loved but definitely in demand.
Last night we made changes to our flight plans and are returning to Ontario a week earlier- almost like a white flag on my part! Help, save me, someone start parenting these rambunctious little Q boys! So we arrive on July 25th but just the little Q boys and I. Jeff is staying with our original plan and flying Aug 1 to Ontario… so read between the lines… Jeff gets a week off from parenting, spous-ing and being a responsible adult. I swear I saw him booking a golf game the second I got off the phone from confirming our flight changes… I’m thinking: lucky jerk? I want a week off. I am really going to have to book some kind of mom-retreat but the real problem with all of this is that my maternity leave is coming to an end, it’s already wearing thin, I’m feeling the end...the real world...the demands and intensity of returning to work. My brain hurts already
I wish I lived in that country where they have 2 years of maternity leave with a guaranteed return to the job you left. That would be ideal. I’d likely be sick of my kids after 2 years right? But after just one year with Connor, he’s just starting to show his feisty side, his picky side, his I-wanna-consume-the-world side… how can I miss this stage?
(What country is this... maybe the change is a move to this new country?)
Jeff has vetoed the “stay at home mom” idea. He actually counter-proposed with the potential of a , “stay at home dad”. Jeff would love to stay home, and he’d be good at it too, but he make more money than me (that’s my argument at least).
So for now, I’ll sit tight and just wait it out… okay I’ll even try to enjoy this remaining days of mat leave. I have lots planned and it will be great… but there are days when the velocity and momentum is overwhelming. Please tell me this is just a stage!!!